Who Dun' It
by EvaH2Os
Summary: Ball-y has one missing along with a few of his friends . Thirteen suspects Taub, but boy is she wrong. 13/Cam established


"Okay," House turned around to glare at his team, "I'm done,"

"Being a doctor?" Foreman asked, looking oddly pleased.

"You will never have my job," House responded dryly, before turning around to look at the coffee pot once more, "My red cup. It's gone."

"Check the sink," Chase responded, not looking up from his crossword puzzle.

"I find things for a living, did you really think I hadn't checked?" House muttered, "whoever took it, I want it back. You've gone too far."

"By stealing your cup?" Thirteen smirked. She had no idea who was messing with House, but she liked it. Especially, the subtlety. She glanced over at Taub, who had yet to say anything, wondering if he had suddenly grown a pair and played a good prank.

"Use the 'World's Best Dad' mug you stole from the lounge, so we can actually help a patient." Foreman answered, without bothering to hide his grin.

"No," House crossed his arms petulantly. He took a seat at the diagnostic's table, and stared at each of his ducklings.

"Wasn't Chase. He doesn't get off on torturing me unless it's physical," House grinned at Chase, "or he's making money."

"And I don't care," Chase added in, glancing up from his crossword to see House's annoyed grimace.

"That leaves Foreman, Thirteen, and the Taubster." House said, lifting his cane to Taub's jaw. He slowly forced Taub's jaw up so he could glare into his eyes, "I thought you knew better."

"It wasn't me, House." Taub groaned.

"I'm not solving a case until one of you fesses up." House hoisted his bad leg onto the table.

"Cuddy will have your ass." Foreman said, finally having the decency to look annoyed.

"No whiteboard, no ball, no mug, no House." And with that House stood up and quickly limped out of the room.

Thirteen watched him through the glass doors as he headed for the elevator, "Epiphany or going home?" She asked the rest of the team wondering if she could peace out for the day and enjoy the morning on her couch with her girlfriend who had the day off from the ER.

"I think he thinks it's Cuddy." Foreman shrugged.

"So which one of you did it?" Chase asked, pushing his crossword puzzle farther away from him on the table. Thirteen smirked; apparently six down had bested him.

"Why are you all looking at me?" Chase shrugged, "I asked you first." He sighed exasperatedly, " and whoever took House's crap also has my favorite surgical cap."

"My favorite suspenders have been missing," Thirteen realized, "and my leather ones."

"Maybe, he's doing this to fuck with us," Foreman mused, "and get off work."

"Nothing's missing from your pockets," Taub pointed out.

"Have you seen me wear my fedora recently?" Foreman patted his bald head.

"I thought you had just realized how tacky you looked in it." Chase smirked.

"Says the guy with the tacky accent." Foreman shot back.

"It's an accent!" Chase squealed back, "It's not tacky."

"What are you missing Taub?" Thirteen broke their argument. Taub shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"Yes?" Chase leaned forward against the glass table.

"Well nothing," he admitted.

"I want my cap," Foreman practically growled.

"I didn't take anything," Taub argued, "I just don't have any 'signature Taub' things to take. Apparently, I'm the least predictable out of all of us." Taub looked pleased with himself.

Chase looked pissed. "What about your –" He froze, "uh- wedding ring?" He tried. Foreman couldn't help but to chuckle.

"Whoever's been doing this isn't quite stealthy enough to pry a ring off my finger." Taub rolled his eyes.

"Maybe it was Wilson?" Thirteen glanced over in the direction of his office.

"Maybe we should all just go home, and House will give us back our stuff later." Taub answered.

The team looked around at each other, and gave a few shrugs. Thirteen stood up, not needing to be told twice, and headed out for the day. At this point she figured a day in bed with Cameron could console her about the loss of her suspenders. Besides, her collection spanned much farther than those two pairs.

Seeing House's motorcycle gone, Thirteen smirked. It probably was him. He hadn't done anything to them since their first secret Santa, and she knew he had the mentality and morality of a five year old. He was probably lounging on Wilson's couch right now playing with their stolen belongings.

Getting in her car, Thirteen couldn't help but to speed home. She knew Allison was probably still in her pajamas lounging on the couch watching television or reading a trashy novel with her cute little reading glasses. Or maybe even soaking in Remy's claw foot tub…

Thirteen took a few moments to smile over that thought before getting out of her car and practically skipping up the steps to her apartment. Pressing her key into the lock, she practically stumbled inside.

"Cameron?" Remy called, looking around her empty apartment. Sighing, she wondered into the bedroom. There was no rustle of bed sheets or splash of water. Where could Cameron have gone in the hour and half that Remy had been at the hospital doing nothing?

Letting her imagination get the best of her, Remy checked the bathroom just incase she was in fact in the tub.

Sadly, no such luck, however the brunette did find herself face to face with House's whiteboard.

Thirteen's eyes went wide, and she had to pinch herself to calm down so she could read the message.

_Try around a different tub_

Remy giggled for a moment, her mind going to the dirtiest of places. Somewhere Cameron was naked with a pile of House's stolen belongings. God, she loved her girlfriend.

Thirteen stared at the board for another moment before realizing that Cameron had to be at her own apartment. She too had a marvelous bathtub that Thirteen had yet to try out with her. She didn't know why, but she didn't often venture to Cameron's place.

Thirteen headed back to her car, and had to think for a few moments about how to get to Cameron's house. She knew it was on the other side of the hospital but she couldn't figure out which freeway exit it was. Figuring she'd know it when she saw it, Thirteen sped off. The anticipation was getting to be too much for her.

After four wrong turns, Remy found herself in front of a familiar peach colored building. Smiling, she parked at ran up the steps, hitting the button that read 'Cameron'.

"Who is it?" Her girlfriend's voice responded coyly.

"Detective Hadley, I've got a sneaking suspicion that you have some things that don't belong to you." Thirteen responded cutely with her best 'stern detective' voice.

She got a giggle and a buzz in response letting her know that the door was now unlocked. Taking the stairs two at a time, she arrived in front of Cameron's door within a minute. Thirteen knocked, but pushed it open after not getting a response.

She felt hands immediately wrap their way around her hips and pull her inside the dimly lit apartment. Thirteen couldn't help but let out a low moan. This was going to be brilliant.

"Put these on if you ever want to see your other precious suspenders again." Cameron said harshly, with a huge smirk on her face. Thirteen took the leather suspenders from her hands, but hesitated for a moment upon realizing what the blonde was wearing.

Thirteen tried not to grin as she took the leather suspenders and hooked them to her jeans. Cameron was currently wearing nothing but a blue surgical cap and a white lab coat with Taub's name on the ID card attached to the pocket. Apparently she had also hit up Taub, but he had yet to notice.

"I didn't say you could keep your shirt on," Cameron interrupted Remy's staring.

"Yes, Dr. Taub," Thirteen answered, quickly taking her shirt and bra off before re-hooking the suspenders to her jeans.

"Good girl," Cameron responded casually taking a sip of coffee from a familiar red mug that had been resting on her counter.

"Oh wow," Thirteen couldn't help but break character, "not that I'm not pleased, but why?"

"We never go to my place. I wanted you to be more comfortable here so I filled it with familiar objects." Cameron smirked, turning around and grabbing a fedora from underneath a cabinet. She placed it on Thirteen's head with a smirk.

"You better be careful because I may never want to leave," Thirteen grinned back, taking advantage of the blonde's character break to push her against the wall.

"I love you in this lab coat." Thirteen kissed the side of Cameron's neck down to her belly button. Cameron let her fingers slide up the underside of the suspenders then rest on top of the fedora.

"I love you in nothing but suspenders, jeans, and a fedora." Cameron moaned in response.

"How long do you think we can keep this stuff for?" Thirteen asked, looking up at her girlfriend.

"They'll never suspect me," Cameron said, putting back on her 'criminal' voice.

"Then the treasure is ours." Remy smiled and gave her best evil laugh, before going back to kissing down her girlfriend's body and wondering where Ball-y could be hiding.


End file.
